Originally posted by FTJC:
Best Mans Speech

This message has been edited - 15-may-2008 @ 10:42

Originally posted by Lady Penelope:
http://www.boreme.com/boreme/funny-2007/best-man-speech-p1.php

Very funny. Posted this link here before.

Originally posted by FTJC:
Best Mans Speech

Originally posted by Welger AP630:
I have done two now and it is the same as everything else, just plan it well and practice, brainstorm for areas the guy is weak on… and you have to start here or the speech won’t be real. You really don`t need to cog them whole off the net, they are not that difficult to write.

E.g. If he procrastinates - Delayed unduly getting married - Ever arrested/in trouble with the law - Sort-tall-fat-balled.. the usual - His profession.

Pick about four of these areas and then do a big search on the net for gags on each. Start with a list of 20 or so gags and you are looking to weed them down to five that run into each other nicely   (You need no more than 4  )  . Avoid any jokes you would not tell your mother.

They don’t have to be funny – delivery is everything. Look up ‘roast’ on youtube, especially the ‘roast dean martin’ stuff. What you will see is that most of the gags are really not that funny but they work all the same. It is actually heartening looking at how simple ‘roasting’ is once you analyse it.

By delivery I don’t mean you need to be Tommy Tiernan, but you need to establish a rhythm   (1,2,3,4 5, laugh – 1,2,3,4,5 laugh  )  . Your speech should look like a poem when it is written, short even number of lines of similar length. Have your final draft on a small notebook   (in big writing  )  . A notebook is less stressful then trying to keep cards in order. You can actually highlight the gaps in your speech where people are going to laugh. It is important to be able to visualise your pace so you can pace your breathing. Do not try to improvise it.

I re-wrote and redrafted my speechs about seven times. The redrafts are very important. basically find somebody you really thrust and do the speech for them, they will quickly tell you stuff that could/should go.

It is a great audience, they want you to succeed, and they want to laugh so you have to facilitate it in your delivery. Talk slow and deliberately, give people time to process what you are saying. Do not ever talk over people talking/laughing. always wait for silence before beginning again.

Don’t forget to complement the bride on how beautiful she looks.

Avoid the beer before hand, physiologically the throat goes dry when people are nervous   (it’s the reason you always see water on table  s during the Late-Late etc.  )  . Make sure the liquid you have in your hand is not alcohol. One pint is a fine thing before hand to settle you down, but avoid anymore.

Do not do your speeches before the dinner. That idea is fine for some of the speeches but you will benefit from having the audience as drunk as possible.

Try finish off on a sincere note, thank him for the honour   (and it is one  )   and use the opportunity to pay respect to him. He has just become Mr. after all and that is a new stage for both of you so mark it.

Keep it short   (unlike this post  )  .

Originally posted by Welger AP630:
I have done two now and it is the same as everything else, just plan it well and practice, brainstorm for areas the guy is weak on… and you have to start here or the speech won’t be real. You really don`t need to cog them whole off the net, they are not that difficult to write.

E.g. If he procrastinates - Delayed unduly getting married - Ever arrested/in trouble with the law - Sort-tall-fat-balled.. the usual - His profession.

Pick about four of these areas and then do a big search on the net for gags on each. Start with a list of 20 or so gags and you are looking to weed them down to five that run into each other nicely  (You need no more than 4  )  . Avoid any jokes you would not tell your mother.

They don’t have to be funny – delivery is everything. Look up ‘roast’ on youtube, especially the ‘roast dean martin’ stuff. What you will see is that most of the gags are really not that funny but they work all the same. It is actually heartening looking at how simple ‘roasting’ is once you analyse it.

By delivery I don’t mean you need to be Tommy Tiernan, but you need to establish a rhythm  (1,2,3,4 5, laugh – 1,2,3,4,5 laugh  )  . Your speech should look like a poem when it is written, short even number of lines of similar length. Have your final draft on a small notebook  (in big writing  )  . A notebook is less stressful then trying to keep cards in order. You can actually highlight the gaps in your speech where people are going to laugh. It is important to be able to visualise your pace so you can pace your breathing. Do not try to improvise it.

I re-wrote and redrafted my speechs about seven times. The redrafts are very important. basically find somebody you really thrust and do the speech for them, they will quickly tell you stuff that could/should go.

It is a great audience, they want you to succeed, and they want to laugh so you have to facilitate it in your delivery. Talk slow and deliberately, give people time to process what you are saying. Do not ever talk over people talking/laughing. always wait for silence before beginning again.

Don’t forget to complement the bride on how beautiful she looks.

Avoid the beer before hand, physiologically the throat goes dry when people are nervous  (it’s the reason you always see water on table  s during the Late-Late etc.  )  . Make sure the liquid you have in your hand is not alcohol. One pint is a fine thing before hand to settle you down, but avoid anymore.

Do not do your speeches before the dinner. That idea is fine for some of the speeches but you will benefit from having the audience as drunk as possible.

Try finish off on a sincere note, thank him for the honour  (and it is one  )  and use the opportunity to pay respect to him. He has just become Mr. after all and that is a new stage for both of you so mark it.

Keep it short  (unlike this post  )  .

Originally posted by Welger AP630:


The redrafts are very important. basically find somebody you really thrust

Originally posted by FTJC:

The bro is an awful straight forward chap and hasn`t got in half the amount of scrapes I got in down through the years 

Originally posted by slegs:

Ignore all the prewritten rubbish on the web. Build your speech around 3-4 funny but real stories.

Originally posted by Welger AP630:


There is no question that origional is best, the web should be a plan B.

Originally posted by uachtaran:

Welger - can`t agree with the basic fundamental point - by writing it I`m assuming its going to be "read" a good wedding should not be read, if you can`t remember the lines from a few bullet poiint reminders then the speech is already too long. Was at a wedding recently where the b.m. read out 15 minutes or about 10 A4 pages.Funny contents but not a funny delivery because it was read   (and far too long anyway  )  

Originally posted by greenandwhite:


FTJC I was in the same position as you a couple of months ago, I had to deliver the best man`s speech at my brothers wedding. My advice is to keep it short and sweet, maximum 5 minutes. I think all the speeches in total took just over 20 minutes to complete. No one wants to listen to speeches that last an hour or more.
I kept my speech as original as possible as most people will have probably heard the obvious one-liners at many other weddings. I found the best man wedding sites to be no use at all for material. Slag him about some embarrassing incidents that took place during his childhood, that should go down well with the audience. Be amusing rather than striving to be an out and out stand up comedian like Billy Connolly or Chris Rock. However if you are Billy Connolly or Chris Rock then disregard the last sentence!