An Moltóir spent the last week in a part of Europe which Setanta (the TV company, not the Cork hurling tyro) has not yet penetrated, and so was unable to watch the live telecast of the Leinster hurling final. However, due to the wonders of modern technology, he was still able to listen in to the radio broadcast via satellite. The match itself may not have been up to much, but Mícheál Ó Muircheartaigh’s commentary was priceless.

Mícheál’s modus operandi was demonstrated in a wonderful TV programme a couple of years ago when he was filmed doing his radio commentary on the 2000 All-Ireland hurling final between Kilkenny and Offaly. Mícheál was perched in a very flimsy looking makeshift box on stilts above the foundations of the new Hogan Stand. If the Tipperary North Riding Health & Safety officer saw it, he probably puked into his mug of cocoa.

Mícheál had his son and daughter sitting in front of him. The daughter had personal information on all of the players written out on big cards which were flashed in front of the father as required. The son was keeping an eye on player switches and substitutions, which he also wrote down on big cards which he held up for Mícheál to see. Once, when DJ Carey scored a wonder goal, Mícheál gave the son a punch in the back which almost knocked him out of the commentary box. Hopefully, the Tipperary Health & Safety officer was out in the kitchen refilling his mug at the time or he would have got apoplexy at the sight of this.

The contrast between MOM’s radio commentary on the Leinster final and Ger Canning’s TV commentary (which An Moltóir heard since on video) was almost shocking. Whereas MOM generated a great sense of excitement, urgency and listener involvement, the reaction to Canning was a mixture of boredom and irritation. If the word "ennui" did not already exist, it would have had to be invented to describe Canning’s commentaries (for the untutored among you, according to the Oxford Quick Reference Dictionary, ennui = mental weariness from lack of interest).

Where Canning frequently doesn’t even know the players out on the field, you get the impression that MOM is on personal terms with their brothers and sisters, parents and grandparents. He was able to tell us that Kilkenny midfield debutant Conor Phelan and his twin brother John went to school in Roscrea. At one stage, he named out all of Damien Fitzhenry’s fourteen brothers and sisters. He also reminisced about a Duffrey Rovers football team populated by numerous Fitzhenrys playing at Croke Park on a day in which Seamus Fitzhenry almost scored the goal of the year.

MOM also assumed a good knowledge of the game on the part of his listeners. On various occasions he mentioned The Doc, Skippy and The Hopper without explaining who they were. Then one wondrous passage went as follows:

"The Dodger has it. The Dodger is moving in. A shot from the Dodger and it’s gone over the bar – another point for Kilkenny. In case you came in from Mars today the Dodger is DJ Carey of Gowran and Kilkenny."

MOM referred once to Colm Kehoe as "The little man from the Half Way House" and Michael Kavanagh as "Kavanagh the Great". He had difficulty telling the two Jacobs apart in the second half, but was able to state "It looks like a Jacob" before going on to tell us about their father and mother. Referring to both the "old" and the "new" Hopper McGrath, he observed that neither of them would have qualified for the Gardaí. He also displayed a tender touch by talking about a teddy bear affixed to the wire in front of where the Nally Stand used to be which belonged to a young Wexford girl who unfortunately died during the year.

MOM also got great mileage from Paul Codd’s tendency to lash frees high over the bar. Thus, for one such free in the first half, Mícheál went as follows:

"Has he sent it into the upper deck again? He has, deeper into the upper deck but it rebounds back to the lower deck, passing the corporate boxes on the way down. Paul Codd is definitely going for height today."

Then, when Codd took another free in the second half, here goes MOM again:

"If he hits the ball like he did in the first half, this will end up in Clonliffe College. Yes, it’s gone over Hill 16 and out over the railway. That sliotar will play no more hurling today."

However, the bould Mícheál really came into his own when a streaker invaded the pitch late in the second half:

"There’s a streaker on the pitch – he must be a Kilkenny man because he’s quite happy with the situation right now…If the streaker doesn’t mind, the ball will be going over in his direction right now. He sees the danger - now he’s moving out the field towards open territory…The stewards are moving in on him now…He’s now gone past the centre of the field…Níl fhios agam cad as a tháinig sé…He’s dodging his way now trying to get away from the maors. He’s made a good run. He’s on the fifty yard line on the other side of the field. He’s brought to the ground. Tá an streaker ag imeacht den bpáirc."

What a commentary! Where else in the world would you hear it? An Moltóir was half-expecting him to say that the streaker had been awarded a free in for being brought down on the fifty yard line.

And yet, apart from the intensity of his commentary and his ability to pack in all sorts of information about the players, MOM is still able to give insightful views on the trend of the game. He repeatedly stressed the strangle hold which the Kilkenny half backs had on the game. He mentioned at one stage that things were not going too well for Rory McCarthy and a few minutes later the same player was substituted. He observed in the first half that no ball was going into Paul Codd at full forwad. Again, shortly afterwards Codd was moved out to the half forward line.

Such observations are the essence of acuity compared with the vacuousness of Cyril Farrell’s assistant commentaries on TV. All he is able to tell us is "You’re right Ger" (he usually isn’t); "It’s a great game of hurling""; "We’re in for a great finish now". In fact, if you took out the number of times he says "as such", there probably wouldn’t be a whole lot left of his commentary. He is as clueless as the Galway and Wexford teams he coached (and to anyone who points to the two All-Irelands Galway won under his management, An Moltóir would retort that they would have won five if they had a half-decent coach at the time).

In An Moltóir’s view, the best assistant commentator Ger Canning ever had was Jimmy Barry Murphy. JBM had to give it up when he became Cork manager, but whatever they pay Cyril, they should pay JBM ten times as much to get him back. It doesn’t matter what RTE pay Mícheál Ó Muircheartaigh. As observed at the outset, he is simply priceless. To paraphrase one of his former neighbours from West Kerry, "Ní bheidh a leithéid ann arís".