For many spectators, the highlight of the official opening of Simonstown Gaels’ magnificent new grounds, near Navan, recently was the fetching, ankle-length ball gown, in a deep shade of maroon, worn by the Roman Catholic Bishop of Meath, Most Reverend Doctor Michael Smith, Doctor of Divinity, writes An Fear Rua...

The Bishop’s outfit was topped off by a dainty little silk skullcap in a similar shade of maroon and – in a fashion touch ’to simply die for dahlings!’ - His Lordship topped it all off with a kind of white knee length nightie (officially known as a ‘surplice’) worn over his gown. (Older readers of AFR will ruefully recall the furore caused by the Catholic Bishop of Clonfert in the early Sixties when a woman admitted on RTÉ’s ‘Late, Late Show’ that she had not worn a nightie on the first night of her honeymoon!). Obviously, the Catholic hierarchy’s approach towards the wearing of nighties has become more liberal since then.

At the last official opening of a ground in Meath attended by AFR, the guest of honour was no less a personage than Lord Dunsany himself! However, the best Simonstown could come up with on this occasion was the Minister for Local Government and The Elimination of Brown Envelopes, the diminutive Meath man, Noel Dempsey. On the other hand, there was no shortage of various ‘Uachtaráin’ of Dis Great Assosheeayshun Of Ours’ – Uachtarán CLG, Seán McCague, Uachtarán Chomhairle Laighin CLG, Séamas Aldridge, Uactharán CLG Chontae na Mí, Fintan Ginnity and even An tArd Stiúrthóir Himself, Liam Ó Maoilmhichíl. There was enough ‘uachtar’ around to make a few dozen Gaelic coffees…

Fair play to the Bish’, when called upon, he fairly liberally sprinkled the new pitch with a plastic bottle full of holy water (though some of those who’ve played on it say the drainage hasn’t yet settled down, and adding holy water might only cause further problems). Based on the Royals’ dismal performance, AFR would say not even a few buckets of holy water thrown over them would make them fit to make a game of it against Westmeath in the Leinster championship in a few weeks’ time. Indeed, even a recent visit to Athboy, in the county of Meath, by the relics of Saint Therese of Lisieux will not give Seán Boylan and the lads the miracle they need to progress to Leinster honours.

The only performance of note on the Meath team was Under-21 debutant, Niall Kelly, from the current county champions, Dunshaughlin. The official retirement of Skryne’s John McDermott just a few days before the match opened the door to Kelly and he grasped the chance with both hands. McDermott was very pointed in his comments that it was time for him step aside to give a chance to promising new talent. There is a growing feeling in Meath, not least among followers of the black-and-amber of the county champions, that the Oul Dunboyne Alchemist Himself, Seán Boylan, has been slow to introduce newcomers, especially from the Dunshaughlin club. (Boylan has always preferred to take names from less prominent clubs, often only playing at Intermediate level, and turn them into inter-county stars, since that reflects better on the great man’s powers!)

After a little understandable nervousness early on, when his fielding was a bit suspect, Kelly moved more confidently into the rhythm of the game. His long, accurate, raking kicks – a feature of his game with his club – really split the Kerry defence open and put them under pressure. Unfortunately, the Meath forwards – the likes of Geraghty and Ollie Murphy, and even that stalwart tryer Giles – were not up to coping with good ball like that. An encouraging feature of Kelly’s game, possibly honed in the furnace of the three AIB club games against Rathnew, was his ability to ship tackle after tackle, with Kerry players bouncing off him as he ran forward. Apart from Kelly, only his namesake Evan Kelly and the Garlow Cross potato farmer Paddy Reynolds, contributed anything of note to Meath’s game. Out of charity, the less said about the others the better.

There was a fine turnout for the game, on a bitterly cold night. But whether it was the cold, or the lacklustre performance of Meath, there was little cheering and the event was curiously devoid of atmosphere. It is possible, of course, the crowd had been stunned into silence by the earlier sight of the Bishop parading around in his ball gown!

At the end of this exhibition game, Páidí Ó Sé left Simonstown a much happier man than Seán Boylan. All his key players turned in solid performances. He made a few substitutions at the start of the second half, and chasing places on the championship fifteen, these players upped the tempo of the game and pulled Kerry away from their opponents. Pa Laide, in particular, greatly strengthened his claims to selection after he came on as one of the subs.

Another interesting fashion footnote was – to avoid a clash of colours – Kerry took the field in the Simonstown club’s colours of Navy and Light Blue. One wag on the terraces commented this was the only chance a team in the Dublin colours had of beating Meath this year.

Finally, at a time when the GAA is supposed to be more open and responsive, could the blessing of the ground – if there has to be one – not be carried out on an ecumenical basis, with clergy of other denominations present ? After all, it’s probably the least Sam Maguire would expect …

Related Topic:
Boylan’s Last Stand ?