From 2000.

What, in ainm Dé, is wrong with the management and selectors of the Waterford hurlers, An Fear Rua asks...

I mean, have they taken leave of their senses entirely, or has this Neutron diet they're all supposed to be on for the past few weeks addled their brains entirely?

They are fortunate to have in their panel a man rightly honoured last year as the players' (not the journalists', mind) choice as Player of the Year. This man is expert at picking points off from sideline cuts seventy yards out from goal. (An Fear Rua won't have any truck with those metric distances. Pints, miles, acres and gallons were good enough for the men and women of 1916, he says, and so they're good enough for him. None of these metric measures imposed on the world by British imperialism, An Fear Rua declares!). This man is so fit and dedicated to his cause, he can win games single-handedly.

Who am I talking about? Tony Browne, of course. A worthy grandson to the late-lamented 'Fad' Browne, whom An Fear Rua fondly remembers starring in an "Ireland" team in the Tailteann Games of 1932. 'Fad' was up there with Mackey, Lynch and Ring and was, An Fear Rua asserts, one of the finest hurlers never to win an All Ireland senior medal.

Tony Browne is the finest mid-fielder playing in hurling today, bar none. So what do the geniuses in Waterford do in their selection for their tussle with Cork in Páirc Uí Rinn, in their vital Division 1A National Hurling League clash? Why, they take him from mid-field to play at centre half back. Not content with that, like a child fiddling with a box of matches and a can of petrol, they drop one of Ireland's finest centre half-backs, Fergal Hartley, to make space for Browne. It's not as if the ranks of Waterford are so bursting with talent that they can afford to leave out dedicated servants like Hartley.

In ainm Dé, is this some sort of nefarious Cork plot to bring down Decies hurling once again? Is Gerald MacCarthy the Kim Philby of the hurling world, sent in to infiltrate Waterford and ensure its downfall? Nothing the Cork contingent would do would surprise An Fear Rua.

However, as an Fear Rua's mother often remarked when someone made trouble for themselves, 'God will not be mocked!'. And when Waterford took the field against Cork on Saturday, they were without Tony Browne and Hartley was back in his accustomed position. It's almost as if the Good Lord said: "If ye don't appreciate Browne, then I won't let ye have him", because the unfortunate man could not play on Saturday because of injury.

Despite all this, it was a closely contested game, with Cork winning by a goal scored in the final seconds of injury time. This, however, may point to the poverty of Cork's prospects this year, than denote any encouragement for Waterford.

Whatever about all that, An Fear Rua is convinced the Nutron Diet cannot compare with seven-days-a-week diet of pigs ears, potatoes and cabbage from Ma Molloy's licensed premises enjoyed by Gowlnacalley-John Redmonds the year they won the mid-Tipperary Intermediate Hurling Championship. The hurling was powerful, but the stench in the dressing room after each game was appalling...