For the Munster first round tie between Cork and Limerick, Aodán Mac Suibhne is not appointed referee as Frank Murphy decides to keep him in reserve for the semi-final against Waterford. This backfires when the appointed referee sends Diarmuid O'Sullivan off before the throw-in. Limerick withdraw Brian Begley to midfield where Cork fail to get a puck. Mark Keane skins the remaining Cork fullbacks to give the Shannonsiders a famous victory.

Waterford field a new-look forward line in the semi-final. Limerick put their two best defenders over to mark Ken McGrath and Paul Flynn on the left side of the Déise attack. Newcomers Eoin Kelly and John Mullane score 1-12 on the right wing. Dan Shanahan comes on as a sub and scores the best point of the game in the last minute, as the Blues coast into the Munster final.

In the other semi-final, Clare field exactly as selected. This 'throws' Tipperary, who had been prepared by Nicky English for nine alternative variations on the named Banner lineout. In the confusion, John Leahy scores a point from 100 yards against his own team and is then sent off for addressing a passing bottle carrier in ungentlemanly terms. Clare are driven on by a tall, mysterious figure on the sideline wearing a hooded cloak and emitting energising laser beams from piercing eyes. When Anthony Daly sprints one hundred yards in ten seconds to fire home the winning goal, Tipperary demand a medical enquiry but are turned down by Frank Murphy.

In the Munster final, Colin Lynch breaks the referee's hand before he has a chance to throw in the ball and is sent off by a terrified replacement referee before he does any more damage. The mysterious hooded figure puts his hood on Lynch's head and sends him on as a sub before the throw-in. Lynch then breaks Ollie Baker's leg pulling on the throw-in and gets sent off again. Meanwhile, without his hood, the mysterious figure's identity is revealed as Dustin the Turkey. When the Waterford crowd start singing the Twelve Days of Christmas, Dustin flees and a demoralised thirteen-man Clare team finally succumbs to a superb last-minute point by substitute Dan Shanahan. In Leinster, Offaly reserve their one big performance of the year for the semi-final against Kilkenny. Their defence is as difficult to break open as a Bonded warehouse, while the Offaly supporters behind the goal brandish giant bottles of stout to provide a target for Johnny Pilkington's shooting. With the Birr man landing fourteen pints from midfield and Johnny Dooley unerring from frees, Offaly win without a single one of their forwards touching the ball.

In the other half of the draw, Meath pull off a coup by appointing Seán Boylan as manager. With newcomer John McDermott winning everything in midfield they emerge from the round robin group. Against Dublin, the Meath players put on masks of the county footballers and the Metropolitans promptly fall asunder. In the semi-final against Wexford the Meath fairytale ends when the game clashes with the fourth replay of the football championship tie between the Royal County and Kildare. A feeble attempt to disguise Dustin as Seán Boylan is exposed when Frank Murphy demands to see his identity card and, with their talisman absent and John McDermott otherwise engaged, Meath collapse and allow the Model County stride to a majestic one-point win. In the Leinster final there is a sensation when Offaly forget to turn up and are thrown out of the All-Ireland series. This allows Meath back in as they lost their semi-final by less than Kilkenny.

In Connacht, there is a further sensation when Galway turn up for the provincial final, unaware that Roscommon have withdrawn from the competition. Galway decide to play a practice match against their second string who proceed to win the game and are then declared the champions by the provincial chairman who has never been at a hurling match before in his life.

Meanwhile, in Ulster, the Derry team is strengthened immeasurably when the county football team is knocked out of the championship at an early stage and they all decide to switch to the small ball code. The sight of Anthony Tohill brandishing a camán is enough to reduce all opposition in the province to dust.

For the All-Ireland quarter-final against Clare, Derry place Anthony Tohill, Geoffrey McGonagle and Brian McGilligan in the full forward line. This blocks out all the light around the Clare goal and six long deliveries from midfield go all the way to the net. Derry win the match by 6-0 to 0-17 after Davy Fitzgerald, blinded by the light, fresh-airs a late penalty attempt. For the other quarter-final, Meath have Seán Boylan back but are missing John McDermott, hospitalised with exhaustion after scoring six points in extra time to win the fifth replay against Kildare in the football championship. They don't get a smell against Galway who have had their team reinstated after successfully arguing to the GAC that, as they hadn't a clue what their best team was, the first team which played in the Connacht final was really their second team.

In the semi-final against Waterford, Derry try the same trick again, but this is countered when the Déise management place a lighthouse on 'The Rock' at fullback. As he is used to carrying the rest of the team anyway, Seán Cullinane doesn't notice the extra load. Dan Shanahan comes on to score a spectacular late point to help Waterford to a fifteen-point victory. The other semi-final presents problems for Cyril Farrell who is coaching both Galway and Wexford (Noel Lane having been dethroned at the insistence of the players after he demanded that they hit the ball first time when they got it, and Tony Dempsey having resigned when he was given a sack of bad potatoes for his expenses). The game is marred by constant stoppages caused by players running into each other. Undeterred by the gathering twilight (since his own eyesight is fading anyway), Joe Cooney squeezes over the winning point. There is no response from the stands as the crowd has long since gone home to bed.

The final is an all-time epic in which Waterford prevail thanks to an injury-time point scored in spectacular fashion by substitute Dan Shanahan. The injury time is caused by an unfortunate accident when a Waterford forward runs into Shanahan when the latter was warming up on the sideline. Frank Murphy who also refereed the game presents Waterford captain Ken McGrath with the cup. Murphy had been made acting president of the GAA following a mysterious accident to Sean McCague, and has promised to extend the new football championship arrangement to hurling in 2002. This means that no county will ever again be knocked out of the hurling championship at the first hurdle and that Aodán Mac Suibhne will be assured at least one more game to referee the year after next.