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Topic: wedding question
hurler100
(461 Posts)
Posted: 23-May-2012 18:15
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lads, quick question in an area i'm not familiar with. i've been invited to a wedding (the full day) plus friend but i cant go as i'll be out of the country. should i still send a present and if so how much? played a bit of minor with him and would be friendly if we met up in the same pub but not best buddies or anything. honestly don't know. thanks.
This message has been edited - 24-may-2012 @ 11:56
scelp
(1,695 Posts)
Posted: 23-May-2012 18:19
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Can't go? Then no dough!
The Minstrel
(646 Posts)
Posted: 23-May-2012 18:32
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I don't think you need to send a present. It doesn't sound like you're that close to the groom, so you shouldn't feel obligated here. But would he agree that you're not that close? Were all the ex-minors invited or was it just you? If just you, then I'd say his expectation is greater than if the whole team was included.
batter burger
(1,950 Posts)
Posted: 23-May-2012 18:33
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If you can afford it I would say to send a present up to 50euro, it's a nice gesture. When i got married a couple of people who couldn't make it did this and we really appreciated and remembered it.
Letterman
(200 Posts)
Posted: 23-May-2012 18:39
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Theres a recession on you know.
Just send them a Mass Card!
Hitch
(3,644 Posts)
Posted: 23-May-2012 18:42
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Originally posted by batter burger:
If you can afford it I would say to send a present up to 50euro, it's a nice gesture. When i got married a couple of people who couldn't make it did this and we really appreciated and remembered it.

Think nothing of it, 'twas the least we could do!
hurler100
(461 Posts)
Posted: 23-May-2012 19:58
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cheers lads, he's a good ol skin so ill throw 50 quid in a card and hopefully get it back in 20 years time ;)
ProjX
(726 Posts)
Posted: 23-May-2012 22:25
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Originally posted by hurler100:
lads, quick question in an area i'm not familiar with. i've been invited to a wedding (the full day) plus friend but i cant go as i'll be out of the country. should i still send a present and if so how much? played a bit of minor with him and would be friendly if we met up in the same pub but not best buddies or anything. honestly don't know. thanks.

For a friend, if you cannot make it get a card and put 100 in it.

For an acquaintance, a card is ok.
finbarrk
(649 Posts)
Posted: 23-May-2012 23:22
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Throw €50 in a card. Thats fine.
meow
(72 Posts)
Posted: 23-May-2012 23:57
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Similar question lads I'm going to a wedding on Friday on my own full day, wouldn't know the bride and groom all that well but I work with and I'm very good friends with the grooms brother hence the invite what amount should go in the card
South Limerick Referee
(16,613 Posts)
Posted: 24-May-2012 00:16
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You are what is known in wedding circles as low lying fruit. A victim to share the wedding bill with even though neither of ye know each other.

Ye were handy to have in the boom when ye were handing over 200 euro but now ye arent paying as much!!!!!!!
meow
(72 Posts)
Posted: 24-May-2012 00:31
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Originally posted by South Limerick Referee:
You are what is known in wedding circles as low lying fruit. A victim to share the wedding bill with even though neither of ye know each other. Ye were handy to have in the boom when ye were handing over 200 euro but now ye arent paying as much!!!!!!!

Don't worry I know I'm not top table material lol but is a €100 ok to give
notrealdan
(637 Posts)
Posted: 24-May-2012 12:53
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There's some fair mane fukkers around all the same.Coming on here looking for a way to weasel out of handing over a few bob to someone who had the decency to invite them to their wedding.
ballygowan
(1,987 Posts)
Posted: 24-May-2012 13:02
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Originally posted by notrealdan:
There's some fair mane fukkers around all the same.Coming on here looking for a way to weasel out of handing over a few bob to someone who had the decency to invite them to their wedding.

Or there are some fair mane couples who use a wedding as a fund raising exercise. Both positions can be argued coherently
theface2010
(3,490 Posts)
Posted: 24-May-2012 13:17
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Originally posted by meow:
Don't worry I know I'm not top table material lol but is a €100 ok to give

If you're going on your own for the full day €100 is the norm. @ OP, if he's not one of your best mates no way would I be sending him money. This obsession with money at weddings I thought went out with the Celtic Tiger. Thank him for the invite, apologise for not being able to make it and wish him the best. This thing of the bride and groom barely knowing 75% of the people at the wedding is horsesh1t and purely an Irish thing.

It's like when envelopes start being handed around the office here asking for money for the 28th birthday of fat Biddy who you've talked to three times-I don't expect people who I work with to be buying me birthday presents so I don't see why I have to be handing over fivers and tenners every 3 days for presents for people I barely know and sometimes can't stand the sight of.
An Carta Bui
(277 Posts)
Posted: 24-May-2012 14:11
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Never mind a card. He would prefer a €50 plus the cost of a card. Total €54.00 approx

Or as the Cavan man said when asked "Would you like a drink?"
Can I have the money instead?
JoNinety
(Power User)
Posted: 24-May-2012 14:27
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I was invited to a wedding a good few years ago where the invite included a URL for an online gift shop.
There were 4 different categories you could select in the website for the type of present you wanted to give, which catered for different budgets.
You basically picked one of these categories:
1. Close friends and family
2. Other friends, relatives, work colleagues and neighbours
3. Afters people
4. People who can't attend/weren't invited but would like to give a gift anyway.
I was in category 2 but gave a look at the other categories, from what I remember if you were in category 4, you were expected to give between €50 and €100.
At the time I didn't think anything of it, it was par for the course and I thought that it actually quite helpful, which was the intention of the bride and groom but looking back at it now, it was horrendously crass.
I'd say a lot of people downgraded themselves from close friend to other friend when they saw the price difference between the categories.

In Spain and a few other countries, including the bank account details to lodge money to is quite common.
theface2010
(3,490 Posts)
Posted: 24-May-2012 14:36
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I know of a couple circa 2007, an accountant and a teacher as it happens, who actually sat down and calculated how many people they needed at the wedding to make a €25,000 profit. I think there was around 400 people at the wedding-in the end, they were nearly inviting people they met on the street.
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