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Topic: Team Mate Problem
Glór na ngael (1,198 Posts)	Posted: 09-Jul-2012 08:49	Quote Edit Delete Report Post Post Reply
Glór na ngael (1,198 Posts)	Well lads, I have a problem with one of my team mates which has spoiled my enjoyment of playing football recently. I'm a pretty average player, always have been, but I burst my bollocks for the team. I hardly miss a training session and go running a few times per week to try to get fitter. I have developed a serious problem with the captain (who is also the club chairman). He's a fantastic player, but IMO he's not the nicest person I've ever met. He's very cliquey, friendly with the fellas that lick his arse, but distant/dismissive of others. He seems to have some sort of problem with me in particular, as he always jumps on any mistake I make and never misses a chance to make a smart comment. Moreover, he has a short fuse and always gets into some sort of situation with the opposition. I'm not a docile character, and I've had a few arguments with him already on the pitch when I felt the abuse was OTT. We had a tournament this weekend passed, and usually there's a meal and a session with the opposition afterwards. But he -------ed me off with his carry-on the last day, to the extent that I left the meal early, as I couldn't trust myself not to tell him what a Pr1ck I think he is (with alcohol in my system). Usually, I would just have it out with him, as it's best in life to be open. However, I'm pretty sure he would use this opportunity to get rid of me, as he's a petty character. Even though I get on well with everyone else, I'm also pretty sure that none of the others would have the balls to back me (even though several of them have similar feelings). This is the first time I've ever stopped enjoying my football, and I don't want to quit (as I'm abroad, options are limited as regards joining another club). But I feel also that the tables are tilted against me. Has anyone had similar experiences, and possibly offer some advice?
gaelforce10 (631 Posts)	Posted: 09-Jul-2012 09:31	Quote Edit Delete Report Post Post Reply
gaelforce10 (631 Posts)	meet up with him and ask him if he has a problem. Get it all out in the open. At the end of the day you're both on the one team. If that doesn't work, you're just going to have to go to war.
slow hands (871 Posts)	Posted: 09-Jul-2012 09:34	Quote Edit Delete Report Post Post Reply
slow hands (871 Posts)	Set up your own club. At training next night, grab 2 footballs and make a run for it.
Keanes Road (2,524 Posts)	Posted: 09-Jul-2012 09:38	Quote Edit Delete Report Post Post Reply
Keanes Road (2,524 Posts)	Seriously, just tell straight out to cop the f on if it’s that much of an issue. You can’t be that bad if you are getting picked week in week out no matter what shouting he does. I think the fact he is chairman might be gone to his head and it happens a lot with fella’s who get too much sway at any club. If he is that petty that he will try to get you off the team and no one else will have the balls to stand up to one player then ask yourself are you really willing to put yourself on the line for those guys anyway. Do you want to be part of all that? Alternatively A nice hospital ball to him in the next match will spice things up nicely. He goes in and you can watch him get creamed. He pulls out of the challenge and you can bawl him out of it if front of everyone for being a jibber.
Glór na ngael (1,198 Posts)	Posted: 09-Jul-2012 10:03	Quote Edit Delete Report Post Post Reply
Glór na ngael (1,198 Posts)	Originally posted by Keanes Road: Seriously, just tell straight out to cop the f on if it’s that much of an issue. You can’t be that bad if you are getting picked week in week out no matter what shouting he does. I think the fact he is chairman might be gone to his head and it happens a lot with fella’s who get too much sway at any club. If he is that petty that he will try to get you off the team and no one else will have the balls to stand up to one player then ask yourself are you really willing to put yourself on the line for those guys anyway. Do you want to be part of all that?Alternatively A nice hospital ball to him in the next match will spice things up nicely. He goes in and you can watch him get creamed. He pulls out of the challenge and you can bawl him out of it if front of everyone for being a jibber. I think it's the case that he's probably lost the run of himself a bit. As I said, he's a terrific player, who would have played inter-county if he hadn't emigrated. As I result, I think people are afraid to call him out. Maybe he's a bit frustrated that he isn't playing at a higher level, who knows? Anyway, the hospital pass isn't an option as he's a bit of a horse, who'd probably enjoy the chance to give a flaking! That's a bit of a problem actually, he always gets involved with opposition players who don't appreciate his approach to tackling (match had to be abandoned after such an incident at the weekend).
Bressie (388 Posts)	Posted: 09-Jul-2012 10:07	Quote Edit Delete Report Post Post Reply
Bressie (388 Posts)	Take up soccer or rugby instead.
let it long (1,214 Posts)	Posted: 09-Jul-2012 10:23	Quote Edit Delete Report Post Post Reply
let it long (1,214 Posts)	You're right, no ones gonna back you. People will agree with you all day long but when push comes to shove you'll find that very few people have the balls to say what they think. Which is why I'd agree with the point above. If hes a pr1ck and not worth playing for and none of the rest back you if you speak up, you're as well off out of it anyway. Lifes too short to be surrounding yourself with arseh0les and spineless cowards.
Glór na ngael (1,198 Posts)	Posted: 09-Jul-2012 10:41	Quote Edit Delete Report Post Post Reply
Glór na ngael (1,198 Posts)	Originally posted by let it long: You're right, no ones gonna back you. People will agree with you all day long but when push comes to shove you'll find that very few people have the balls to say what they think. Which is why I'd agree with the point above. If hes a pr1ck and not worth playing for and none of the rest back you if you speak up, you're as well off out of it anyway. Lifes too short to be surrounding yourself with arseh0les and spineless cowards. See this is the crux: I love gaelic football, have played it for a good chunk of my life, and I don't want to quit. As I'm a bit of a stubborn +++, I don't really want to give anyone the satisfaction of driving me away(plus, there's only one club in the country that I'm presently based in). All things being equal, it's best to have the matter out. But all things aren't equal. As for my club mates, I don't think of them badly at all, really. A lot of them are in it just for a bit of craic and keep fit, and so probably just don't want the hassle. The problem for me is that I've been giving this lad every benefit of the doubt, and have reached a point at which I'm either going to do something I regret or get very bitter. To be honest, I just to play without having to walk on egg-shells around people all the time.
watchthehop (64 Posts)	Posted: 09-Jul-2012 11:06	Quote Edit Delete Report Post Post Reply
watchthehop (64 Posts)	Is there any chance of you nailing him at training?I have found in the past that when you soften up some of these types you gain their respet.He sounds like nothing more than a big bully to me.
let it long (1,214 Posts)	Posted: 09-Jul-2012 11:07	Quote Edit Delete Report Post Post Reply
let it long (1,214 Posts)	Originally posted by Glór na ngael: See this is the crux: I love gaelic football, have played it for a good chunk of my life, and I don't want to quit. As I'm a bit of a stubborn +++, I don't really want to give anyone the satisfaction of driving me away(plus, there's only one club in the country that I'm presently based in). All things being equal, it's best to have the matter out. But all things aren't equal.As for my club mates, I don't think of them badly at all, really. A lot of them are in it just for a bit of craic and keep fit, and so probably just don't want the hassle. The problem for me is that I've been giving this lad every benefit of the doubt, and have reached a point at which I'm either going to do something I regret or get very bitter. To be honest, I just to play without having to walk on egg-shells around people all the time. Doesn't sound like you enjoy playing at the moment with the way things are, so something has to be said. You've let others know what you think and they've agreed. Let fly next time he takes a pop and let the chips fall where they may. He can't run you out of the club anyway. But just be fairly sure that you won't be backed. I remember being in work one time and the boss was letting fly at a few of us on one job where he was completely in the wrong. Lads were chatting and we all agreed we were going to put him right and we we're gonna take the crap any longer. I said I'd do the talking when we went in to him. In we went, I set him straight. He looked at the others, said is that right lads? They all looked at their shoes and shuffled out the door. I left a few months after. Now I'm running a business that is comparable to the fella I worked for while the rest of them are still taking his sh1t. Not the same situation but comparable. Never be afraid to do the right thing. A few years from now you won't have the legs to play anyway and you'll wonder why you put up with that lads bullschit.
Deise Vu (1,658 Posts)	Posted: 09-Jul-2012 11:17	Quote Edit Delete Report Post Post Reply
Deise Vu (1,658 Posts)	Yours is a bit of a conundrum alright. If your team mate is captain / chairman / best player you are at nothing trying to get the rest of the team to back you. The only suggestion I could make is to do what I used to do whenever an opponent was trying to distract me by mouthing. Don't just ignore him but actively ignore him. If you answer back you look like as big an eejit as him, if you say nothing he thinks he is winning. So what you do whenever he goes off on one is just shout some encouragement to your other team mates. Something simple like 'good ball' or 'keep it going lads'. You are telling him that you don't give a fugg and showing him up for the prize pryck that he is. Your sanity is more important that any sport so failing that, walk up to him and nut him on the bridge of the nose.
zetorisbetter (159 Posts)	Posted: 09-Jul-2012 11:23	Quote Edit Delete Report Post Post Reply
zetorisbetter (159 Posts)	Face him, 99% of these lads are total cowards
N16 (1,724 Posts)	Posted: 09-Jul-2012 11:24	Quote Edit Delete Report Post Post Reply
N16 (1,724 Posts)	Not trying to be funny but the next time it happens, hit a few bangs of a fist in him, put manners in him. See if he treats you the same way after.
Glór na ngael (1,198 Posts)	Posted: 09-Jul-2012 11:41	Quote Edit Delete Report Post Post Reply
Glór na ngael (1,198 Posts)	Originally posted by Deise Vu: Yours is a bit of a conundrum alright. If your team mate is captain / chairman / best player you are at nothing trying to get the rest of the team to back you. The only suggestion I could make is to do what I used to do whenever an opponent was trying to distract me by mouthing. Don't just ignore him but actively ignore him.If you answer back you look like as big an eejit as him, if you say nothing he thinks he is winning. So what you do whenever he goes off on one is just shout some encouragement to your other team mates. Something simple like 'good ball' or 'keep it going lads'. You are telling him that you don't give a fugg and showing him up for the prize pryck that he is.Your sanity is more important that any sport so failing that, walk up to him and nut him on the bridge of the nose. For all the suggestions that I should have 'a man conversation' with this fella, sadly, it just isn't realistic. I'm a small fella who's currency is speed rather than strength, while this lad is a big solid unit. That doesn't mean that I take s**te (my mouth has almost gotten me into trouble quite a few times) but I try not to get into fights. Your advice is good, but I tried something similar the last day, and unfortunately, it didn't work with this fella. I shouted some words of encouragement to a fella who was playing really well in the forwards, to the effect that he was putting in an exhibition. I was told to by the captain shut my mouth. Una duce, una voce, it seems. But maybe it's worth trying.
JohnneyCool (2,069 Posts)	Posted: 09-Jul-2012 11:42	Quote Edit Delete Report Post Post Reply
JohnneyCool (2,069 Posts)	Originally posted by N16: Not trying to be funny but the next time it happens, hit a few bangs of a fist in him, put manners in him. See if he treats you the same way after. Get the hoor riled, make sure he hits first, then pull the head off him. Chairman or no chairman, put manners on him.
Glór na ngael (1,198 Posts)	Posted: 09-Jul-2012 11:43	Quote Edit Delete Report Post Post Reply
Glór na ngael (1,198 Posts)	Originally posted by Deise Vu: Yours is a bit of a conundrum alright. If your team mate is captain / chairman / best player you are at nothing trying to get the rest of the team to back you. The only suggestion I could make is to do what I used to do whenever an opponent was trying to distract me by mouthing. Don't just ignore him but actively ignore him.If you answer back you look like as big an eejit as him, if you say nothing he thinks he is winning. So what you do whenever he goes off on one is just shout some encouragement to your other team mates. Something simple like 'good ball' or 'keep it going lads'. You are telling him that you don't give a fugg and showing him up for the prize pryck that he is.Your sanity is more important that any sport so failing that, walk up to him and nut him on the bridge of the nose. Funny thing, one of the opposition did that the last day, which is why the game was abandoned. I didn't feel like getting involved, to put it mildly (it was probably a long time in coming to him).
let it long (1,214 Posts)	Posted: 09-Jul-2012 12:09	Quote Edit Delete Report Post Post Reply
let it long (1,214 Posts)	Originally posted by JohnneyCool: Get the hoor riled, make sure he hits first, then pull the head off him.Chairman or no chairman, put manners on him. Not likely seen as GnG is half his size.
Bressie (388 Posts)	Posted: 09-Jul-2012 12:16	Quote Edit Delete Report Post Post Reply
Bressie (388 Posts)	Sh1t in his kitbag every time he mouths off at you!
N16 (1,724 Posts)	Posted: 09-Jul-2012 12:18	Quote Edit Delete Report Post Post Reply
N16 (1,724 Posts)	Originally posted by let it long: Not likely seen as GnG is half his size. Even so. Hit a good hard bang on him and he'll at least respect you for doing it. Get two or three in even better. It'll get seperated soon enough before serious damage gets done.
Shannonside (80 Posts)	Posted: 09-Jul-2012 12:48	Quote Edit Delete Report Post Post Reply
Shannonside (80 Posts)	Originally posted by zetorisbetter: Face him, 99% of these lads are total cowards +1 feel sorry for you as its a horrible situation to be in... I hate seeing this carry on in clubs and it was reguarly happening in my own, A young player (who was on the intercounty underage, minors etc.) was been intimadated by a group of 'veterans', by one fella in particular. We had this truth meeting a few weeks into the season and the young fella stood up and F*ed him from a pinnacle, told him straight out what he thought of the treatment and dropped the ultimate bombshell that he had even asked to move club, and the chairman was this bully's uncle at the time.. your man didn't know what to do,starting mumbling and all this sht, usually as you say you think no one will back you, but i can safely say that at least one other person feels the same way as u in this situation here. If one person breaks the silence youll find hes actually aggravated a lot of players down through the years or will in the future.. i would agree with the posters here about meeting him straight up and asking him straight out what his problem is. dont let that one fella ruin the game for u! I also agree with the 'softening up' approach..hit him a belt and a nice shoulder and see how he stands. best of luck finding a solution! This message has been edited - 09-jul-2012 @ 12:49
staycalm (1,081 Posts)	Posted: 09-Jul-2012 12:52	Quote Edit Delete Report Post Post Reply
staycalm (1,081 Posts)	Transfer. I hear tis very easy to get a game with Coill Dubh in Kildare
gaelforce10 (631 Posts)	Posted: 09-Jul-2012 13:03	Quote Edit Delete Report Post Post Reply
gaelforce10 (631 Posts)	try talking to him man to man and if that doesnt work and he continues the way he is you have no choice but to hit him a few digs.
manfromdelmonte (2,268 Posts)	Posted: 09-Jul-2012 13:03	Quote Edit Delete Report Post Post Reply
manfromdelmonte (2,268 Posts)	just shows clubs need a discipline and anti bullying policy in place once you become a member you sign up to it
JohnneyCool (2,069 Posts)	Posted: 09-Jul-2012 13:07	Quote Edit Delete Report Post Post Reply
JohnneyCool (2,069 Posts)	Originally posted by staycalm: Transfer. I hear tis very easy to get a game with Coill Dubh in Kildare as its football, then St Kevins it is! They even provide an address I'm told.
pogger (777 Posts)	Posted: 09-Jul-2012 13:19	Quote Edit Delete Report Post Post Reply
pogger (777 Posts)	You're going to have to face up to him one way or the other or it'll just keep going on. Nearly every club has them.

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