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Topic: Earls & Quinnie: Tour Diaries- Brilliant
Corbally Legend
(828 Posts)
Posted: 23-Apr-2009 14:36
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Hopefully we can add to this as the tour goes on and even get in an entry after we crush the ladyboys.

My First Lions Tour Diary, by Keith Earls

Today joined a team called De Lyons. Haven`t seen any tea yet. They wear Red though so must be OK.There are some fellas from outside Munster here who are not from New Zealand or wherever Mafi comes from.
POC and Quinnie told me not to speak to the Leinster boys, as they were a bad lot who might `give me ideas` and that I might `. Get above myself`. Spent the rest of the day trying to stay under myself. This is not easy.
PLayed the first game against a team called Saffers. The ground was harder than in Thomond, and we played under something called the sun.
Scored three tries in the first half. Jerry Flannery warned me `I was not bigger than the team` and that I had almost missed a tackle.
Concentrated on my defensive play in the second half so only got two tries. After the game Paulie called me a good lad and ruffled my hair and gave me a strawberry cream chupa chup. My favourite!


My Tour Diary by Alan Quinlan

Played first test. Managed to successfully goad the South Africans to attack me en masse. 6 sent off. Afterwards gave Schalk Burger back his jock-strap. Pilfering it in a ruck was what kicked it all off. What larks! He took it in good spirit, really, and it only took fourteen security guards to hold him back. Roll on next week, when I hope to bring home someone`s ear as a nice souvenir of my time here.
long danny
(4,403 Posts)
Posted: 23-Apr-2009 14:44
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Thats class, I nearly choked, with embarrassment.
Luimneach Celt
(766 Posts)
Posted: 23-Apr-2009 15:02
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Brilliant!

Its going to be fantastic this Lions tour with so much local interest.
Kneebreaker
(541 Posts)
Posted: 23-Apr-2009 15:50
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Quinlan`s diary was hilarious, good work CL
Father Fernando Lugo
(203 Posts)
Posted: 04-Jun-2009 18:09
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Any updete  on the Tour Diary?
inglisdrever
(587 Posts)
Posted: 04-Jun-2009 18:18
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3rd June: I went to Ballybunion today, got a choc ice, made some sand castles...I might watch some of the Lions match on sky later on.

by Alan Quinlan
intothewesht
(1,338 Posts)
Posted: 04-Jun-2009 18:25
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Originally posted by inglisdrever:
3rd June: I went to Ballybunion today, got a choc ice, made some sand castles...I might watch some of the Lions match on sky later on.

by Alan Quinlan

Nice!
stevieg05
(305 Posts)
Posted: 04-Jun-2009 20:32
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What I Did On My Holidays by Keith Earls

Africa is like Kilkee only brown. It is very sunny just like in Kilkee and there are lots of Limerick people here. Well. Paulie and Me. But that is enough.
Like in Kilkee, some parts makes me feel a little homesick for Moyross. Townships they are called here, caravan parks in Kilkee. The townships look like my friend Leons` back garden with the sheds only much bigger and with African people living there.

There are no Lions here only us. No Giraffes or Elephants or Monkeys or nohin`. I asked Paulie and he said the African wild life lives in the countryside, like badgers and cows at home. I think he was pulling my leg because I seen them in my Babar books in the cities. I asked the Door man at the hotel where I could see some real wild life in the town. He smiled and said he was the man to ask. He drew me a map and all and said to ask for Queen Mama when I got there and that I would see some wild things, sure enough. Then he winked at me. I think this is an African thing. I winked at him and I said thank you and put the map in my pocket.

I will go and look for some wild life later.
stevieg05
(305 Posts)
Posted: 04-Jun-2009 20:42
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Hunting Keith, by Luke Fitzgerald

Winning the Heino was obviously fantastic. Yes, I had a bit of a stinker, as my dad was quick to point out in the papers, but we won, and thats the main thing. But now its time to move on to new challenges. Anyway, I was in my room last night, writing a letter to the IRB suggesting a change to the ` taken back inside the 22` rule, when Paulie burst in. I covered up the letter  ( I had given up on the letter, to be honest, and was drawing a picture of myself with the cup and Buatoir Corn na hEoraip written above it )  and looked up at him.
"Keith`s gone." he said." We have to find him. His Ma will kill me."
He looked genuinely scared. Turns out Keith had finished dinner and then vanished. No sign of him anywhere in the hotel. And only four of his Chupa Chup stash were missing, which suggested to Paulie that wherever he`d gone, he didn`t think he`d be gone so long. He eats about two an hour if hes let, apparently. Paulie went down to the leisure centre to make sure he hadn`t got lost in the steam room again, while I went outside to see if he was in the grounds. No sign of him.
On the way back I thought to ask the door dude.
"Oh yes sir. I saw the young man. He went off to see some ` wild life`. " He siad, winking at me and grinning.
"Wild life? Are the zoos still open this time of night?" I asked.
"Sir is very funny. Let me draw you a map."

I have to go to training now, I`ll tell you the rest later.
stevieg05
(305 Posts)
Posted: 04-Jun-2009 20:46
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Rugby Is Confusing, by Keith

I said to Wally last night that I had forgotten who we are playing next.

" De Lions." he said.
"But we are De Lions" I said.
"We are the British and Irish Lions, Keith." He said.
"Then who are these other fellas?" I said.
" The Golden Lions." He said.
"Should that not be the Lyons Golden Labels?" I said.
"What?" He said.
"What?" I said.
"Look, Keith. We play the Golden Lions and then we play the Cheaters." He said
" The cheaters!" I said. "Leicester? I hates them shower."
"No Keith, CheeeTAH`s. Like the big cat, you know?" He said.
" No." I said.
" A cheetah is a big cat like a lion or a tiger, Keith." He said.
"So we are the Lions." I said.
"Yes Keith." He said
" And we are playing the Golden Lions." I said.
"Yes Keith." He said.
"And then we are playing the Cheetahs what are like the Lions but not Leicester." He said.
"Yes Keith." He said.
"That is a lot of Lions, Wally." I said.
"It is Keith." He said.
"Is their any team not called the Lions or any name to do with them?" I said
"There is Keith. There`s the Sharks." He said.
" Sharks ! I loves Sharks, Wally." I said.
" Who doesn`t, Keith?" He said
" They have so many teeth and if the loose one they grow another one and they eat everything and have to keep swimming or they drown. Fair mad, a fish who drowns, Wally !"
I said.
" That`s amazing, Keith " He said. "They`re like the lions of the sea."
"Yeah" I said.
I thought about Sharks for a while.
"What was I askin` you, Wally?" I said.
" If I wanted a chuppa chup, Keith." He said
" What !" I said
"Honest to God, Keith." He said.

Wally is an awful spoofer.
But I gave him a chuppa chup anyway.
stevieg05
(305 Posts)
Posted: 04-Jun-2009 20:50
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Hunting Keith 2, by Luke Fitzgerald
So I took a taxi with Mike Blair. He was standing by the door, well up for a little excursion. People call him Blade, apparently because he isn`t the sharpest. He`s the only one who dosen`t know this. Perfect.
We arrived at what I can only call a shebeen. There were no lights on the street, which I think was probably a blessing.
"Wait here." I told the driver.
"I do not think so, sah." He said, and put pedal to metal as soon as we`d got out.
" Must be his busy time, och?" Said Blade, watching the brake lights disappear into the night.
"Right" I said. " Lets do this. You go first. "
We went in through the front door. Blade first. It was as if I`d walked into Clohessy`s in Limerick wearing my Leinster gear and a billboard that said " Turnip-Munchers should play Bog-Ball and leave Rugby to Real Men". There was a silence broken only by drinks being put down and knuckles being cracked.
"Hows it goin`, boys ?" Said Blade.
There was a sharp intake of breath. I was about to run for it, then thought about my chances of making my way back to the hotel in one piece. I decided to step up.
" Hello, gents." I said. " Sorry about Blade, he`s Scottish. I`m just looking for my friend. Bald head. Looks about eight. Might have been carrying a toy lion."
The largest man in the world stood up.
" Where you from?" he said, glaring at me.
" Errr, Ireland." I squeaked.
" Ireland." He siad, with a smile. " Conas atá tú, a bhuchaill? Tá tú i bhfad ó bhaile anois, nach bhfuil?"
Well, you could have knocked me over with a Ronan O`Gara tackle.
" Tá an nGaeilge agat?" arsa mise.
He nodded.
" Conas?"
" Chuaigh mé ar scoil leis na mBraithire Chríostí. "
" Tá brón orm. " arsa mise, suddenly breaking out in a cold sweat.
" Na bac, fuair me mo n-oideachais, buíochas leo. Tá do chara thuas staighre ag imirt X-box le mo bhean. An bhfaighidh mé é duit?"
" Le do thoil." arsa mise.
He went off, and I remembered Blade, who was standing looking at me, his mouth hanging open.
" Jeez, Luke." He said, " Well done."
"Thanks." I said.
"Tell us, " he went on, "how long you been learning Xhosa ?"
As Baile
(935 Posts)
Posted: 04-Jun-2009 21:12
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Fair play, stevie. You have the gift. If Corbally came back now we ould have a series that would rival the Kennedys of Castleross. Maith sibh!
The Idiot Police
(59 Posts)
Posted: 06-Jun-2009 14:59
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Originally posted by Corbally Legend:
Hopefully we can add to this as the tour goes on and even get in an entry after we crush the ladyboys.

My First Lions Tour Diary, by Keith Earls

Today joined a team called De Lyons. Haven`t seen any tea yet. They wear Red though so must be OK.There are some fellas from outside Munster here who are not from New Zealand or wherever Mafi comes from.
POC and Quinnie told me not to speak to the Leinster boys, as they were a bad lot who might `give me ideas` and that I might `. Get above myself`. Spent the rest of the day trying to stay under myself. This is not easy.
PLayed the first game against a team called Saffers. The ground was harder than in Thomond, and we played under something called the sun.
Scored three tries in the first half. Jerry Flannery warned me `I was not bigger than the team` and that I had almost missed a tackle.
Concentrated on my defensive play in the second half so only got two tries. After the game Paulie called me a good lad and ruffled my hair and gave me a strawberry cream chupa chup. My favourite!


My Tour Diary by Alan Quinlan

Played first test. Managed to successfully goad the South Africans to attack me en masse. 6 sent off. Afterwards gave Schalk Burger back his jock-strap. Pilfering it in a ruck was what kicked it all off. What larks! He took it in good spirit, really, and it only took fourteen security guards to hold him back. Roll on next week, when I hope to bring home someone`s ear as a nice souvenir of my time here.
IDIOT
The Idiot Police
(59 Posts)
Posted: 06-Jun-2009 15:01
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Originally posted by long danny:
Thats class, I nearly choked, with embarrassment.
IDIOT
The Idiot Police
(59 Posts)
Posted: 06-Jun-2009 15:04
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Originally posted by Luimneach Celt:
Brilliant!

Its going to be fantastic this Lions tour with so much local interest.
IDIOT
The Idiot Police
(59 Posts)
Posted: 06-Jun-2009 15:07
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Originally posted by Kneebreaker:
Quinlan`s diary was hilarious, good work CL
IDIOT
The Idiot Police
(59 Posts)
Posted: 06-Jun-2009 15:10
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Originally posted by inglisdrever:
3rd June: I went to Ballybunion today, got a choc ice, made some sand castles...I might watch some of the Lions match on sky later on.

by Alan Quinlan
IDIOT
intothewesht
(1,338 Posts)
Posted: 06-Jun-2009 15:10
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Rather big vocubulary you have there `IDIOT`
irishmagic
(1,944 Posts)
Posted: 06-Jun-2009 15:12
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Originally posted by The Idiot Police:
IDIOT

absolutely brilliant
The Idiot Police
(59 Posts)
Posted: 06-Jun-2009 15:13
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Originally posted by stevieg05:
Hunting Keith 2, by Luke Fitzgerald
So I took a taxi with Mike Blair. He was standing by the door, well up for a little excursion. People call him Blade, apparently because he isn`t the sharpest. He`s the only one who dosen`t know this. Perfect.
We arrived at what I can only call a shebeen. There were no lights on the street, which I think was probably a blessing.
"Wait here." I told the driver.
"I do not think so, sah." He said, and put pedal to metal as soon as we`d got out.
" Must be his busy time, och?" Said Blade, watching the brake lights disappear into the night.
"Right" I said. " Lets do this. You go first. "
We went in through the front door. Blade first. It was as if I`d walked into Clohessy`s in Limerick wearing my Leinster gear and a billboard that said " Turnip-Munchers should play Bog-Ball and leave Rugby to Real Men". There was a silence broken only by drinks being put down and knuckles being cracked.
"Hows it goin`, boys ?" Said Blade.
There was a sharp intake of breath. I was about to run for it, then thought about my chances of making my way back to the hotel in one piece. I decided to step up.
" Hello, gents." I said. " Sorry about Blade, he`s Scottish. I`m just looking for my friend. Bald head. Looks about eight. Might have been carrying a toy lion."
The largest man in the world stood up.
" Where you from?" he said, glaring at me.
" Errr, Ireland." I squeaked.
" Ireland." He siad, with a smile. " Conas atá tú, a bhuchaill? Tá tú i bhfad ó bhaile anois, nach bhfuil?"
Well, you could have knocked me over with a Ronan O`Gara tackle.
" Tá an nGaeilge agat?" arsa mise.
He nodded.
" Conas?"
" Chuaigh mé ar scoil leis na mBraithire Chríostí. "
" Tá brón orm. " arsa mise, suddenly breaking out in a cold sweat.
" Na bac, fuair me mo n-oideachais, buíochas leo. Tá do chara thuas staighre ag imirt X-box le mo bhean. An bhfaighidh mé é duit?"
" Le do thoil." arsa mise.
He went off, and I remembered Blade, who was standing looking at me, his mouth hanging open.
" Jeez, Luke." He said, " Well done."
"Thanks." I said.
"Tell us, " he went on, "how long you been learning Xhosa ?"
IDIOT
The Idiot Police
(59 Posts)
Posted: 06-Jun-2009 15:16
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Originally posted by As Baile:
Fair play, stevie. You have the gift. If Corbally came back now we ould have a series that would rival the Kennedys of Castleross. Maith sibh!
IDIOT
The Idiot Police
(59 Posts)
Posted: 06-Jun-2009 15:19
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Originally posted by intothewesht:
Rather big vocubulary you have there `IDIOT`
WORLD CLASS IDIOT
intothewesht
(1,338 Posts)
Posted: 06-Jun-2009 15:22
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Originally posted by The Idiot Police:
WORLD CLASS IDIOT

Well it surely takes one to know one. 13 posts all the same thing. Keep going your stupidity is kinda entertaining
HitemHardHardHard
(1,498 Posts)
Posted: 06-Jun-2009 16:21
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I think `The Idiot Police` is a bit of a gougher.. like Quinlivan!

Originally posted by intothewesht:


Well it surely takes one to know one. 13 posts all the same thing. Keep going your stupidity is kinda entertaining
The Idiot Police
(59 Posts)
Posted: 07-Jun-2009 14:08
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Originally posted by HitemHardHardHard:
I think `The Idiot Police` is a bit of a gougher.. like Quinlivan!

Quinlivan. ? IDIOT
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