An Fear Rua - AFR's Patent Guide to All that is Best in GAA Women

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Thu 01-Jun-2006 10:16

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AFR's Patent Guide to All that is Best in GAA Women

After many years of patient 'hands on' research, so to speak, in many parts of Ireland, An Fear Rua is pleased to announce his Patent Guide to All that is Best in GAA women:

*'Are ya sure ya've had enough to drink, love?'
*'Shouldn't you be down at the club with yer mates?'
*'That was a mighty fart! Do another one!'
*'I've decided to stop wearing clothes around the house. I hope ya don't mind. '
*'You're so sexy when ya're hungover.'
*'Now don't you dare lift a finger! You just relax there until yer mates call round. '
*'Yer mother is much nicer than mine.'
*'C'mere. Does my arse look big in this camogie skirt?'
*'Will I drop yerself an' yer mates off at the lap dancing club?'
*'Why would I need more than three pairs of shoes?'
*'No, that's OK, love. You use the phone an' I'll just chat to my friends whenever I see them. '
*'C'mere love, have ya time to help me trim me beaver before ya head off for yer trainin'?'
*'I only need one small suitcase. Sure we're only going away for a week'
*'Ah Jaysus no. Mindless celebrity gossip doesn't interest me. '
*'I hate all those tight curls. I'm clean shaven! '
*'I have to say I admire your dedication to the ladies football team. They must be gettin' great now, with you trainin' them four nights a week.'
*'Darling, I 've signed up for Yoga classes so that I can get my ankles behind my head, just for you. '
*'I'm so glad ya switched away from that oul hospital 'soap' I was watching an' put on 'Ard San Aer'
*'Omigod, if I don't blow ya soon I swear I'm gonna explode. '
*'C'mere! I make enough money for the both of us. Why don't ya retire forty years early? '
*'Let's subscribe to 'Playboy Channel'
*'I'm thinkin' of raisin' the hem on me camogie skirt by six inches. What d'ya think?
*'Ah no, it's OK, love. I'll take the car to get the oil changed. '
*'Two 'Hill' tickahs for a b-j? Ya muss be jokin'!! Wha' d'ya think I am? Now, if they were Premium Level ...'
*'I love it when ya play football or hurling on a Sunday'
*'Ah, c'mere love. The new neighbour's daughter is out sunning herself again. Have a look. '
*'I wonder would I be able to run faster when I'm playin' if I wore a thong instead of knickers? Wha' d'ya think?
*'Come on an' we'll go over to the shopping centre an' ya can check out the women's asses.
*'I'd much rather watch the Qualifiers on TV with you an' drink a few beers, instead of goin' shoppin'
*'How d'ya like me new thong? I got it in yer county colours.'
*'Listen, do me a favour. Forget that stupid Valentine's Day thing an' get yerself a new pair of sneakers. '
*'I'd love to go on a nudist holiday for a change.'
*'Of course, I understan'. Our anniversary happens only once a year an' you go out with yer mates. It shows ya're loyal. '
*'What's a soap opera? '
*'Some of the girls on my camogie team are thinkin' of stoppin' wearin' knickers. D'ya think I should do the same?
*'Ya need yer sleep, silly. Now stop getting up for the night feeds. '
*'I'll be outside painting the house. '

Any further suggestions?

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