Jim Fogarty – Kilkenny City and County Librarian – gives the real lowdown on phrases used by GAA journalists. Jim’s piece first appeared in an otherwise dull as ditchwater programme for the recent Wawderfurd v Tipp NHL game:

‘The goalkeeper was unsighted for the first goal’ – He had just spotted a good-looking girl taking her seat in the stands.
‘The right corner back set out his stall early’ – He upended his opponent before the throw-in.
‘The full back took no prisoners’ - Grievous bodily harm yes; manslaughter, not quite.
‘The left corner back was vigilant all through’ – He held his opponent’s jersey for the full seventy minutes.
‘The right back made some surging runs’ – Usually when the player he should be marking was scoring points.
‘The centre back completely dominated his patch’ – Totally unfit, he managed to bat a few balls on the forty-five metre line
‘The centre fielders covered every blade of grass’ – Yes, but only between the two half-back lines and usually in a horizontal position.
‘The half forwards were unlucky in their shooting’ – They put the fear of God in people seated near the corner flag.
‘The corner forwards foraged for every ball’ – They rooted for the ball so often they could have competed in the World Ploughing Championships.
‘The full forward needed early ball’ – He was a half hour behind the full back in the chase for every delivery.
‘The referee was unobtrusive and contributed to a free-flowing game’ - His mind was really on getting away early so’s he could fit in a few pints in his ‘local’.