March 2000 ... Louise Kennedy and the way she might look at ya...

The more things change in the world of the GAA, the more they remain the same, An Fear Rua sometimes thinks…

These thoughts are prompted by the news emanating from the Premier County (or the Land of the Stone Throwers) - Tipperary to the rest of us - that the pulchritudinous fashion designer, Louise Kennedy, is to re-design the team jerseys for her native county. No smarter woman for the job! An Fear Rua is well aware that Louise's roots go deep in the rich Tipp soil. Sure, wasn't her father, Jimmy, from Puckaun outside of Nenagh? The same Jimmy was a four times All Ireland hurling medallist - three times with Tipp and the fourth gained with Dublin while he was studying in UCD. A stylish player he was too, recalls AFR.

The news reminded An Fear Rua of a facet of GAA activity that is long since gone - the famous 'suit length' tournaments. Younger readers may puzzle over what exactly these were, while readers of an older vintage will nostalgically recall that these tournaments were once a mainstay of club competition in the Summer months in some counties.

The 'suit length' tournaments were a way around the GAA's stringent rules against professionalism, in a way that would have been worthy of the great Nicholo Macchiavelli himself. The tournaments were often run by a local parish priest to raise funds for a new church or parish hall. The winning team was presented with a 'suit length' of material, usually a good navy blue chalk stripe in a sturdy flannel. It could be made up into the class of a suit a lad could wear day in, day out for nigh on twenty years working 'at the buildin' or milking cows, feeding calves, saving hay or mucking out pigs and it would still look fine when he was heading off on the 'High Nelly' bicycle to a Macra social. Sure a good rub of a damp cloth and a night flattened under the mattress was all it ever needed to get it looking better than anything even Rock Hudson would wear in the pictures.

The players on the winning side had two options regarding the 'suit length'. They could, of course, bring it to the local tailor and get a suit made up. More often than not, however, they opted to sell the length of material to the tailor for a few quid, thus reaping a financial reward, but without offending against the letter of the strictures forbidding monetary payment. So, very often, unsuspecting clients of the tailor - the local solicitor or the bank manager, for example - never knew they were traipsing around the county wearing a suit made of material that had originally been the property of some burly full back or crafty half forward!

In the Forties and Fifties, and even into the Sixties, 'suit length' tournaments had a real festive air attached to them. Often, they were accompanied by a circus like Fossett's or Duffy's in the field beside the GAA pitch, or amusements from companies like Piper's or Bird's - the 'bumpers', the 'chair-o-plane', the rifle range, Bingo and so on. But the highlight was the marquee dance later that night when the prizes were presented to the winning team. These marquees were huge tents, packed to the walls with perspiring men and women, while fellas on the outside, who had ill-advisedly drunk the entrance money in the local pub (while summoning up Dutch courage) tried to cut a hole in the wall to get in free of charge. These dances were a prime example of the motto of the late TJ Byrne, the Carlow-born manager of the famous Royal Showband (still on the go beyond in Las Vegas, An Fear Rua hears) who once said his aim was to 'send them home sweatin'. Dunhill in County Waterford, Piltown and Glenmore in South Kilkenny were among the legendary 'suit length' hurling tournaments of the Fifties.

So, it all goes to show that the GAA at local level has long taken an interest in men's fashions and that the players of old didn't need a Fancy Dan 'Players Association' to get around the rules against monetary reward. Hopefully, the members of this year's Tipp panel won't have to go to the same lengths to get a bit of a reward for their efforts.

According to Louise Kennedy, designing a county jersey 'is a matter of looking at fabric options and colour tones …' Sure, An Fear Rua recently heard of no less a man than Paul Shelly himself saying the exact same thing. Indeed, all the talk in the Tipp dressing room after training these nights is more about choosing the right kind of curtain material to go with a new carpet or suite of furniture than about how they might beat Waterford in May. Though, apparently, it is not true that Liam Cahill recently turned up at a training session with a Dulux colour card to illustrate some point about interior design he had made at the previous session. Louise's next comments gave a bit of a start to Oul Mr O'Neill Himself and the girls beyond in the Back Cash Office, up in O'Neill's International Sports and Clothing Company in Walkinstown, Dublin 12. Ms Kennedy said: 'A lot of jerseys have become very cluttered. There is a lot of design work going on the sleeves. It is very confusing'. One of the girls had to take out her smelling salts and give Mr. O'Neill a sniff of it. An Fear Rua's correspondents in Tipperary tell him the jersey will include a new crest, recently approved by the County Board. This will be legally registered and will incorporate the Rock of Cashel with a hurler and footballer, but some traditionalists will be sad to see the old Butler crest departing.

No doubt, the Waterford hurlers will take all this in their stride when they meet Tipperary in May. (Unfortunately for their sartorial ambitions, the internationally renowned Waterford-born fashion designer, Sybil Connolly, died a few years back). But how would you like to be a Tipp hurler facing up to a bunch of Clare hurlers or supporters in your Louise Kennedy jersey and nicks? Some of the ribald comments could probably lead to another outbreak of the Third World War that's been going on between the two counties in recent years.

Still, the imaginative Tipperary decision brings Nicky English and the lads into line with some good company. Louise has already designed for Tony Blair's wife, Cherie, as well as for the delectable American actress, Meryl Streep. For example, according to that great hurling fan, Robert O'Byrne of 'The Irish Times', Mrs Blair has worn one of Louise's 'marled herringbone suits in muted tones of fern green and oatmeal, complemented by a Lycra-base T-shirt and velvet devoré wrap in darker green, in a falling leaf pattern'. Sounds like just the outfit for John Leahy. Or how about Declan Ryan in an 'oyster linen outfit and jacket with a dandelion motif'? And, of course, for that most elegant Toomevara hurler and two-time All Star, Tomás Dunne, nothing less than 'a jersey palazzo pants with matching tunic top and long coat'...

Where will it all end at all, at all, asks An Fear Rua? In retaliation, John Rocha designing kit for the Clare team? Anyway, a woman of the world like Louise will probably not blush as she measures up the members of the Tipperary hurling and football teams and enquires sweetly of each player: 'Right dress or Left dress, Sir?'. And if you don't know what appendage that question is all about...you've obviously never had the pleasure of going to your local tailor with a 'suit length' won in a GAA tournament...