Not since Dan Fortune, the Gowlnacalley-John Redmonds’ minibus driver, ordered our senior Camogie team not to take a crate of ‘Phoenix’ beer on board after winning a county championship replay in Mullinahone, back in ’62, has there been such a furore over the mixing of ‘de daymon dhrink’ and the GAA, recalls An Fear Rua …

Poor Dan wasn’t so much concerned with road safety or anything new-fangled like that, as much as a fear that once the likes of the burly full-forward Gertie McDonnelly or the full-back Cora Cartwell got an ale or two inside them, there wouldn’t be so much as a screed of clothing left on him by the time the minibus got back to Gowlnacalley. Indeed, had he permitted the girls to take the alcohol on board – in every sense of that phrase – Dan’s minibus might have witnessed scenes reminiscent of those reputed to have taken place in the Gents’ toilet of a certain hotel in Athlone after this year’s Ashbourne Cup camogie competition for third-level colleges. Or the squeals might not be too unlike what was reportedly heard from the Tipp senior camogie team in the showers under the Old Stand in Semple Stadium last weekend when they were confronted by a couple of short-taken Dublin footballers!

This time round, Iarnród Éireann, in their wisdom, banned the sale of alcohol on the three special trains carrying about twelve hundred Dubs fans to Thurles for the big football replay against Kerry. Tea, coffee and soft drinks were available, which made a nice change, since there’s many’s the normal Iarnród Éireann train – even these days – that doesn’t carry so much as a drop of water or a crust of dry bread for the sustenance of passengers. An Iarnród Éireann spokesperson said past experience showed there was a link between alcohol consumption and trouble on trains carrying Dubs supporters. Whether that’s true or not, the incidents could hardly be any worse than those perpetrated by Tipp hurling supporters a few years ago on a ‘special’ train returning from a Munster championship game in Páirc Uí Cheacescu. On that infamous occasion, even fire extinguishers were thrown through the carriage windows, and fights broke out between fans from different parts of the same county! Which only goes to show that if there isn’t a bunch of Clare whipping boys handy nearby, the Tipp lads will make do with a wee fight among themselves …

However, AFR believes he would get very long odds indeed from his pals in Bananabet.com for the proposition that alcohol would be forbidden on any train carrying Tipp hurling supporters. And to add further insult to Dublin injury, Iarnród Éireann allowed drink to be served on the trains from Killarney carrying Kingdom supporters to the same game. The ubiquituous IÉ spokesperson had this to say: ‘Prohibiting alcohol among Kerry supporters was never really on the cards. To be honest, we’ve never really had problems with Kerry GAA supporters… Kerry supporters have a history of self-restraint. There’s no history of violence and there’s no point in punishing them because of the behaviour of others.’

To AFR, this seems like appalling discrimination against Dubs supporters by a state-owned company. The amazing thing is that the Dublin County Board were prepared to take this insult meekly. Surely, a single phone call to Heuston Station from that Super Dub, De Man Dey Call Ahern – or one of his multitude of minions and handlers - could sort this one out in a less time than it takes to say ‘Iarnród Éireann Time Table’ ? After all, even Bertie is known to enjoy his ‘bottle a’ Bass’ of an evenin’ beyant in Fagan’s or Kennedy’s a’ Drumcondra. Ah yes! Nothin’ better than a few bottles a’ Bass after a couple of hours knockin’ on doors and canvassin’ on doorsteps.

This whole question of drink and fans’ behaviour on the way to, and at, matches is something AFR has recently commented on. It does appear that the sheer numbers and intensity of additional championship games in Croke Park this year – not least in football – has brought to the surface some underlying tensions that had been quiescent up to now. Following his most recent Chronicle, ‘Gardai or Gestapo’, AFR talked to a number of residents in the Drumcondra area of Dublin. All of them were adamant that there had been a change of atmosphere and heart among them this year because of the imposition of so many extra matches.

They were extremely incensed, for example, at the reported comments of a GAA PR ‘spin doctor’ that people ‘know what they are letting themselves in for when they buy houses around here …’ The plain fact is, that most of the residents involved belong to families that have lived in the vicinity for generations. His comments, as well, that people in, for example, Mullingar, have to put up with additional traffic and parking on a match day didn’t cut much ice with the residents either, since there is no comparison between the intensity and frequency of the disruption involved.

AFR spoke to one resident who said his local residents’ association – which included two committee member of a leading Northside GAA club – recently rejected out of hand an offer by Croke Park to donate IR£20,000 to a ‘community’ project in the area. In fact, the residents went further, and demanded that their particular street should be barricaded off on match days! The same resident claimed that, this year, they had seen a notable deterioration in the behaviour of fans in the vicinity of Croker, which he ascribed to the fact that the new ‘Qualifier’ system was bringing counties to the fore that had never been as prominent before. It doesn’t take Doctor Watson, nor even Sherlock Holmes himself, to work out who those counties are. He told one story of walking past the famous Quinn’s pub in Drumcondra after a recent match, with his five years old daughter, and seeing four male fans of the particular county, in their distinctive jerseys, urinating in unison on the footpath!

So, the bottom line is, there will have to be a full review of all aspects of the new competition format this year, not just in terms of the draw and so on, but with a wider brief covering the overall logistics of the increased throughput of games – things like the appropriate days for games, timing of games, linking of games to TV transmission times, availability of public transport, safety in or near venues, concerns of local business people or residents, the role of the Gardai and so on. The GAA must work with all of the stakeholders involved to negotiate and agree an integrated plan covering all of the issues, for all venues, in 2002.

That approach will certainly help greatly in the provincial venues and may ameliorate matters in the short term in the vicinity of Croke Park. But – in the long term – is Croke Park really viable as a location for a major sports stadium? Which brings us back to the related topics of ‘De Bowel Dey Call Bertie’s’ the IR£60 million the government recently gave the GAA and the real agenda of the man once described by Charvet J Haughey as ‘the cleverest, the most cunning, the most devious of them all …’

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